Divide Before Conquer: The Purpose of Division in Politics, Relationships, and the Self

The other day I was sitting at a restaurant bar and overheard a conversation of two guys to my right. One had just moved out of his house as part of the divorce process. Soon thereafter, two other guys sat down to my left, also fresh from divorce. As these guys were reluctantly adjusting to bachelorhood, I couldn’t help but think about the wives, perhaps children, and the the divisive nature that led to these crumbled relationships.

We seem to be surrounded by division, to our left and right, these days. Our differences, rather than our commonalities, are being highlighted.

In government, the aisle is a literal dividing line. Among neighboring countries, the border is being strengthened. Between non-bordering countries, if we must compromise on a trade deal (to keep the economy in check), then we have a pandemic to justify why you can’t come here. Closer to home, I watched a neighbor put up a hideously intentioned multi-colored concrete wall separating his driveway from the neighbors.

In personal relationships, if you’re not meeting my needs or seeing me for who I am, then I’m out. It’s no coincidence that one of the current Oscar frontrunners is The Marriage Story that highlights division within an otherwise loving marriage. Even in relationships that have worked through their differences, we see them being ripped apart through tragedy, in the case of Kobe and Vanessa who represent the many losses that don’t make the news.

Why are we experiencing so much division?

We can look to science and know that in the case of cells, division is an essential part of growth. In terms of spirituality, you can say that the purpose of our earthly existence is for individuation, an aspect of division. There’s a reason we choose to exit our heavenly energy soup into these clunky body suits with strange and distinct ego personalities.

In experiencing individuation, we learn about ourself only to discover we are a spark of the creative energy that is the all-encompassing Oneness. This may be a little too conceptual for the guys at the bar planning their weekend Super Bowl plans. But really at the root of that crumbled marriage was each individual needing to experience itself more fully in some way. You could say the same thing with the Democratic party, the Republican party, the United States, China, Iran, and anyone going through a div-orce of such. Each of these “individuals” quite simply are taking a step back from relationship so that they can more fully know thyself.

At the root of knowing ourself more fully is the embodiment of our masculine and feminine aspects. We can seek this through relationship with our counterpart mirroring back our best and worst, or, in other words, those aspects that are securely embodied versus those parts that are not.

If you are in relationship, it seems easier to do it alone and if you are single, it seems easier to do it in relationship. If you are conscious of the process, it is possible to grow individually within the relationship and then in due time expansion can happen for the relationship as well. The sum is only equal to the whole of its parts.

Once we, as a country, exhaust the division and have fully explored and experienced our individuation through our beliefs up to this point of our consciousness, then we will mend fences, realize how much we do have in common, and be ready for a relationship once again. Our expansion will then take place through cooperation, synergy, support, and seeing more of what we have in common rather than how we differ.