How to Create Dynamic Duos Using the Five Elements

Most spiritual teachers agree that we incarnate for the purpose to experience individuation, and yet our ultimate lesson is to learn that we’re all drops of the same ocean. There are times to go it alone for purposes of putting our unique stamp on something, but there’s also a time to create with others.

We can make a product or service as a solo entrepreneur, or we can choose to scale it bigger with more people through a corporation, or somewhere in between with a partnership. We are here for individual expression, but we’re also here to merge with others for a variety of purposes depending on our unique path.

When a collaboration is harmonious, it exceeds what any one person can do on his own. When not harmonious, however, it can end disastrously. Far more business partnerships fail rather than enjoy the succeed.

In fact, statistics show that approximately 70 percent of partnerships fail. An Inc. magazine article provided three tips for creating a successful partnership, with the first being to “look for partners who fill in gaps.”

Trust between partners was second on the list, and the third recommendation was to partner with someone who is “collaborative and growth-oriented,” with growth referring to someone who is “in a constant process of improving.”

This sums up our goal of using the Five Elements based in ancient Taoism as our guide: partner with those who can help fill in your missing element, but also continue to expand and grow yourself.

In Taoist principles, we are all made up of the same basic elements with the only variable being our constitution of the Five Elements: Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal. We all have at least one of the Five Elements that is our primary element and one element that is our weak, or missing, element. You may notice that you find yourself attracted, personally or platonically, to a certain type of person. For example, I work best with Fire elements. I love their enthusiasm and the energy they put toward whatever their passionate about in the moment. You may notice a pattern in people you’ve dated, married, or work best with, and the energy qualities they have in common. This will give you a clue as to what your missing element is and, thus, your hidden strength.

It’s no wonder the phrase “You are the yin to my yang” is so common—this is exactly what’s happening upon meeting someone who fills in your missing element.

There is a magnetic pull as our internal elements strive toward balance. We are attracted to those people who have the element(s) that we don’t have or, better yet, who have the element we have but haven’t fully accessed within ourselves. We are only attracted to what and who we know ourselves to be.

Now consider a relationship based not upon filling in each other’s weaknesses but exploiting each other’s strengths. It’s a slight variation in perspective but significant. The more whole we are within ourselves, the less we seek and need from others. When we put our happiness, our fulfillment, our reliance, in the hands of others, it sets us up for disappointment, unrealized expectations, and even failure. Instead, the goal should be interdependence.

When we rely on others to complete us in personal or professional relationships, we’re relying on a dependence that can be taken away at any time. On the other hand, interdependence is expansive with infinite potential for everyone involved.

While there’s no formula on chemistry between people, we can predict to a certain degree how each of the Five Elements will react to one another by looking at how the elements respond to one another in nature. We are no different, except that we add consciousness to the equation.

To discover your elemental constitution and what elements you work best with, check out MISSING ELEMENT, HIDDEN STRENGTH: Apply the Natural Strength of All Five Elements to Unlock Your Full Creative Potential, now available on Amazon and everywhere you buy books.